My mind drifts to that day, the pain I felt, the agony I went through, I zone myself out of what Tunde is doing to my body and try to imagine myself in a bubble where all is well in my world I am happy and carefree. It’s like I have entered into another body and my soul is no longer in the body under Tunde. I feel him probe deeper inside me it’s like it’s me but then it’s not me. Then he puts himself inside me and I gasp at the fullness. I don’t feel pain but then I don’t feel anything. It’s like I’m dead down there, he grunts as he sets a quick and fast pace and then he goes faster and pummels himself into me. This triggers my experience with Jona again and I here voices in my head. “This your toto sweet. You like am abi? Small ashawo you like wetin I dey do. I go enjoy this your small toto well well”. Tears fall freely and I’m Jerked back to reality when Tunde gives a small shout and empties himself inside me. I wait to see if he would say anything but when I don’t hear anything for a while I wonder if the sleeping pills I gave him has taken effect. Then I hear him snore, he is asleep. I push him off me and pull my self away from the bed and sneak to his toilet to clean up. Then I slip back to bed beside him and try to calm my mind and force myself to sleep. Finally it’s done, I think and drift off to sleep dreaming of monsters who like to hurt innocent girls.
Two weeks after I am back in school I call Tunde to tell him the “good news”. To say he is shocked is an understatement. He does not say anything except to tell me it’s not his. I remind him we are married and that we consummated our marriage but he keeps on saying the baby is not his. I get scared because I can hear the confidence in his voice that he really believes the baby is not his. I tell him he is the only one I have slept with and so the baby was his. Then he tells me to come to Abuja the following weekend so we can sort it out and by that he meant that I was not going to saddle him with another man’s child. After hanging up I sit in shock and face Tolu. “He sounded so sure that the baby is not his. How can he be sure, he woke up the following morning after we had sex and he knew even though he could not really remember”. I start to panic, why would he say that. “Sola calm down, he is in shock give him time and when you go to Abuja remind him that you guys had sex without protection, just calm down”.

Why did Tunde say NO?
Watch out for the next episode

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