I don’t know how I am going to achieve this great task, we have hardly said twenty words to each other yet we are married. All I know is that one way or the other I have to do it. No matter how guilty I feel. Besides my only experience of sex was horrible I don’t know how I can bear having him touch me so intimately. That is what I dread the most, I know I have to do it though if not there is no other way to hide being pregnant. I decided to drink as much alcohol as possible to numb my self and give me courage, besides drinking only once should not harm the baby and if it does well then thank God! The minute I think that way I remember what the doctor said about having an abortion or loosing the baby, according to him if I abort the baby then there is high possibility that I will never give birth again, as high as eighty percent. So I guess losing this baby is out of it too.
During the reception we both danced and pretended to be happy. I drank as much alcohol as it is safe for the baby to numb myself and prepare for what I must do. Tunde seemed far away and he is probably sad about being saddled with someone like me. After the whole merriment it’s time to leave and while my mum hugs me she whispers in my ear. “Don’t forget what you have to do”. I shook my head yes, we left the reception grounds and enter into our “Happily Married” car. I am married! I am married!! As I think of this I laugh. This world is a big joke, here I am married when I used to think I would be at least twenty five years old before I tie the knot and that would have given me enough time to find my perfect man. Tunde looked at me as If I have grown two heads, he probably thinks he married a crazy girl. Naughty thoughts entered my head and I decide to do it after all I have nothing to lose and he is my husband.
How did it go?